Romans 12:9-21 Teaching Outline

Love Your Enemies... Unfortunately

Opening: The Flow of Romans 12

• Romans 12:1: Present your body as a living sacrifice.
• Romans 12:2: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
• Romans 12:3-8: A transformed mind changes how we see ourselves and our gifts.
• Romans 12:9-21: A transformed mind changes how we treat people.
• Key question: What has the gospel done to the way I treat people?

Segment One: Love Without the Costume

Romans 12:9-16

1. Let Love Be Genuine

• Romans 12:9
• "Let love be genuine."
• Greek: anupokritos, without hypocrisy, without the mask.
• Don't perform love.
• "Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good."
• Biblical love has moral content.
• Love does not require approval of everything.
• Truth without love can become cruelty.
• Love without truth becomes sentimentality.
• Application: Do I genuinely love people, or do I simply want them to like me?

2. Outdo One Another in Honor

• Romans 12:10
• "Love one another with brotherly affection."
• The church is a family, not merely a gathering of religious consumers.
• "Outdo one another in showing honor."
• The flesh asks: "Who's going to recognize me?"
• Love asks: "Who can I recognize?"
• The ego enters looking for a throne.
• Love enters looking for a towel.
• John 13: Jesus washes the disciples' feet.
• Application: Can I honor someone who can do absolutely nothing for me?

3. Stay Spiritually Fervent

• Romans 12:11
• "Do not be slothful in zeal."
• "Be fervent in spirit."
• "Serve the Lord."
• Beware of room-temperature Christianity.
• You can preach, serve, sing, lead, and study while spiritually cold.
• Remember the audience: Serve the Lord.
• Colossians 3:23
• Faithfulness cannot depend upon applause.
• Application: Would I still serve this faithfully if nobody noticed?

4. Hope, Endure, Pray

• Romans 12:12
• "Rejoice in hope."
• Biblical hope is confidence in God's character and promises.
• Romans 8:28
• Everything is not good, but God remains sovereign over everything.
• "Be patient in tribulation."
• Faith does not always remove the weight.
• Sometimes faith gives us strength to carry it.
• "Be constant in prayer."
• Prayer is the language of dependence.
• Prayer is an assault on self-sufficiency.
• Application: Where am I trying to control what I should be surrendering to God?

5. Make Love Practical

• Romans 12:13
• "Contribute to the needs of the saints."
• "Seek to show hospitality."
• Genuine love eventually costs something.
• Money.
• Time.
• Food.
• Attention.
• Presence.
• An open home.
• An open schedule.
• An open hand.
• Ephesians 2:13
• God welcomed us when we were outsiders.
• Therefore, Christians become welcoming people.
• Application: What is my love actually costing me?

6. Bless Those Who Hurt You

• Romans 12:14
• "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them."
• Matthew 5:44
• This is not natural behavior.
• It is transformed behavior.
• Romans 12:2 puts on work boots in Romans 12:14.
• Blessing does not mean approving wrongdoing.
• Forgiveness does not eliminate justice.
• Love does not eliminate boundaries.
• Application: Has somebody else's sin become permission for mine?

7. Enter Another Person's World

• Romans 12:15
• "Rejoice with those who rejoice."
• Can I celebrate someone's blessing without comparing it to my life?
• Envy is grief over another person's good.
• Love is joy over another person's good.
• "Weep with those who weep."
• Don't always fix.
• Don't always explain.
• Sometimes just sit.
• Job 2:13
• Sometimes presence is ministry.
• Sometimes tears are theology.
• Application: Can I celebrate without envy and grieve without making their pain about me?

8. Kill the Pride

• Romans 12:16
• "Live in harmony with one another."
• "Do not be haughty."
• "Associate with the lowly."
• "Never be wise in your own sight."
• Pride destroys community.
• 1 Corinthians 4:7
• Everything we possess ultimately came to us as a gift.
• Humility is not thinking you're worthless.
• Humility is freedom from making everything about yourself.
• Application: Do I always need to be right, recognized, respected, or heard?

Segment One Crescendo

• Romans 12:1 called us living sacrifices.
• Romans 12:9-16 shows us what gets sacrificed:
  • Pride.
  • Recognition.
  • Convenience.
  • Money.
  • Time.
  • Self-importance.
  • The need for applause.
• 1 John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us."
• Christian love is not the price of grace.
• Christian love is the evidence of grace.
• Final question: What has the gospel done to the way I treat people?

Segment Two: When Love Gets Hit Back

Romans 12:17-21

1. Refuse Retaliation

• Romans 12:17
• "Repay no one evil for evil."
• The natural instinct: "You hurt me, I'll hurt you."
• Don't repay evil in its own currency.
• Retaliation can turn the victim into a reflection of the offender.
• If someone's evil changes my character, who won?
• Justice and vengeance are not the same thing.
• Romans 13 establishes a legitimate place for justice.
• Personal vengeance belongs elsewhere.
• Application: Am I confronting evil, or am I becoming like the person who hurt me?

2. Ask What Reflects Christ

• Romans 12:17
• "Give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all."
• Don't merely ask: "What do they deserve?"
• Ask: "What response reflects Christ?"
• You can win an argument and lose your witness.
• "They did it first" is playground theology.
• Application: Am I more interested in being right or being Christlike?

3. Pursue Peace, But Know Your Responsibility

• Romans 12:18
• "If possible..."
• Sometimes peace is not possible.
• "So far as it depends on you..."
• You cannot control another person's heart.
• You cannot repent for someone else.
• You cannot force reconciliation.
• You can answer for your own heart and behavior.
• Peace requires two people. Faithfulness requires one.
• Application:
  • Have I apologized for what belongs to me?
  • Have I forgiven?
  • Have I spoken truth without cruelty?
  • Have I established boundaries without hatred?
  • Am I pursuing peace or merely trying to win?

4. Give Up the Throne of Vengeance

• Romans 12:19
• "Beloved, never avenge yourselves."
• "Leave it to the wrath of God."
• Deuteronomy 32:35
• "Vengeance is mine, I will repay."
• Revenge attempts to occupy God's seat.
• God sees what we cannot see.
• God knows what we cannot know.
• God judges perfectly.
• Genesis 18:25
• "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?"
• Faith releases the need to supervise God's justice.
• Application: Can I trust God to handle what I cannot make right?

5. Don't Just Avoid Revenge, Actively Do Good

• Romans 12:20
• Proverbs 25:21-22
• "If your enemy is hungry, feed him."
• "If he is thirsty, give him something to drink."
• Christian love is not merely the absence of retaliation.
• Christian love is the presence of goodness.
• Matthew 5:44
• "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
• Love is not the same as trust.
• Forgiveness is not automatically reconciliation.
• Forgiveness does not prohibit boundaries.
• Biblical love does not abandon wisdom.
• Application: Can I desire someone's redemption without requiring their destruction?

6. Grace Interrupts the Cycle

• Romans 12:20
• "Heap burning coals on his head."
• Goodness confronts evil differently than retaliation.
• Grace exposes evil without reproducing it.
• Grace says: "You don't get to decide what kind of person I become."

7. Do Not Be Overcome by Evil

• Romans 12:21
• "Do not be overcome by evil..."
• Suffering evil is not the same as being defeated by evil.
• Evil wins when what happened to us begins producing evil within us.
• Their bitterness makes me bitter.
• Their hatred makes me hateful.
• Their cruelty makes me cruel.
• Their dishonesty makes me dishonest.
• Their unforgiveness makes me unforgiving.
• Don't become what wounded you.
• Application: Has the thing I hate in them started reproducing itself in me?

8. Look at Jesus

• Luke 23:34
• "Father, forgive them..."
• 1 Peter 2:23
• Jesus was reviled but did not revile in return.
• He entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly.
• Jesus demonstrates Romans 12:19-21 perfectly.
• He trusted the Father's justice instead of retaliating.

9. The Gospel Is Enemy-Loving Grace

• Romans 5:8
• Christ died for us while we were sinners.
• Romans 5:10
• We were reconciled to God while we were His enemies.
• God did not command us to do something He refused to do.
• God loved His enemies: us.
• We have received enemy-loving grace.
• Therefore, we become enemy-loving people.

10. Forgiveness Refuses to Let the Past Control the Future

• Who are you still fighting in your imagination?
• Whose name changes your mood?
• Whose success bothers you?
• Whose failure secretly satisfies you?
• Who do you hope "gets what's coming to them"?
• Who are you still punishing?
• Bitterness keeps us connected to the people who hurt us.
• Forgiveness doesn't rewrite the past. It refuses to let the past write the future.

Final Crescendo: Overcome Evil With Good

• Romans 12:21
• The world says: Retaliate.
• Jesus says: Forgive.
• The world says: Curse them.
• Jesus says: Pray for them.
• The world says: Destroy your enemies.
• Jesus says: Love them.
• Evil says: "Become like me."
• The gospel says: "Become like Christ."
• Don't become what wounded you.
• Don't become what betrayed you.
• Don't become what angered you.
• Don't become what you hate.
• Overcome hatred with love.
• Overcome bitterness with forgiveness.
• Overcome arrogance with humility.
• Overcome vengeance with trust.
• Overcome darkness with light.
• Overcome evil with good.

Closing Question

• Did my response look like Jesus?
• The greatest victory is not watching your enemy fall.
• The victory is being able to say:
• "What you did wounded me, but by the grace of God, it did not get to decide who I became."